Getting your sexy back

Ines de la Fressange for Uniqlo – at 57 she’s still sexy

At 61 I figured I’d lost it for good. I was thinking about how UN-SEXY I feel as I looked in the mirror and how I didn’t even recognize the woman staring back at me. This was not my body, my face or anyone who resembled me. Not only have I gained over 35 lbs (which on a 5 foot frame is uncomfortable), but I’ve got bags under my eyes, my skin is beginning to sag, and I’ve lost that “glow” that I used to have.

It’s no wonder I don’t feel sexy anymore

So, what IS sexy and what isn’t? The French know sexy best, so I’ve done a little digging into sexy à la française

NOT SEXY

1. Wearing revealing clothing…especially when you’re over weight. There needs to be a little mystery in sexy, and baring it all…even if it’s just too much cleavage looks cheap.
2. Talking smack or swearing (guilty – but only with the girls, never in mixed company).
3. Trying TOO hard – overdoing the makeup, buying clothes that don’t fit correctly (short or tight)
4. Putting it all out there – mystery is sexy…saying too much is not
5. Not having a good self image – whether you realize it or not…it shows
6. Gossiping – negative chatter doesn’t make the other person look bad, it makes YOU look bad.
7. Acting nervous – being on edge is just not inviting

SEXY

1. A BIG SMILE – it’s inviting and says I’m approachable
2. Be NICE – negative behavior is a turn-off
3. Intelligence – there’s nothing like someone who knows enough about important subjects to have a conversation.
4. Have a signature – whether it’s a perfume or a scarf tossed casually around your neck, it shows that you care about how you appear
5. Confidence – if you’re comfortable with who YOU are, it can be VERY sexy
6. Figure out what you like about yourself – and show it off. Be it your eyes, the way you move, or your ability to have a conversation. Use what you’ve got to your advantage.
7. Relax – people love spending time with others who have a sense of calm

I realized that it’s not about my size or the bags under my eyes that makes  me feel less than sexy. It’s how I LOOK at myself. Then again, if I really want to get my sexy back….I’ll do what it takes to get to the OLD me, so when I look in the mirror I’ll feel sexy – even at 61.