My plan was to only do one “Things I Learned from…” per week. But, since the Oscars are on Sunday night, and “Up in the Air” is nominated for 6 Academy Awards, I thought it best to include this VERY special Things I Learned from.
Things I Learned from Ryan Bingham
1. Pack your belt, don’t wear it.
You’re holding up the line for an accessory. Watching you fumble with a buckle makes my eyes bleed.
2. Your watch won’t set off the metal detector.
So stop putting it in your shoe.
3. Tourists are amateurs.
They carry way too much electronic equipment and their brains are on vacation. You see a sun visor—go to the next line.
4. Please, for the love of God, stop waving goodbye to your family as you’re going through the metal detector.
Kiss your loved one at the curb and be done with it.
5. Pick up your trays on the other side of the conveyor belt.
Don’t cause a traffic jam.
6. More people to avoid:
–the guy with the oversized musical instrument.
— the high school softball team that’s too excited to be traveling.
–the angry senior citizen who will get into an argument with the TSA officer.
–the stoner… obvious pat down.
Thank you to Ryan Bingham and Click Communications for contributing your tips.