I have a few good friends who are my age and single. Some of them are divorced, some are widows, while others are bachelorettes who never tied the knot. I hear horror stories on a very regular basis from two of my dearest friends. When Janet Blair, author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do” said that she had some great dating tips for baby boomers, I was all ears (and ready to pass the information on to my friends). But, why keep the information just between me and a couple of old pals, when my readers may be in the same position?
So, I figured I should share ~~~~
Despite the emphasis that our culture places on youth, life experience is a real asset when it comes to dating. Remember, this is your time. As a boomer, you should be blooming in at least one aspect of your life by now, even if it is just the wisdom to know that not every detail is a life or death affair. You’ve gained perspective and that will make you a great partner! Remember, as a boomer there are no excuses for not having an edge on maturity and personal development.
For me, once he sends flowers, I know he’s got potential, even if he would order flowers online, I’m okay with it. Before you get to the flower stage, try these tips for meeting the right guy.
Appearance can be a point of stress for boomers reentering the dating scene. Try to put a positive spin on it. Think of all the great make-up and exercise tips available to you and how you’ve tested, discarded or added to your personal care routine. You’ve got looking your best down to a science. The good news is that despite how well off you are or not in the looks department, you’ve had plenty of time to pick up speed in what men want most — entertainment value.
A recent study about why men leave their wives showed it was less often for women who were younger, prettier, or sexier. They left for women who were more interesting. That’s right, women who were more interesting.
Many men tire of working at absolutely every area in their lives and are very attracted to women who can be their cohorts in fun – women with ideas and multiple topics who are capable of taking initiative and be adventurous. For baby boomers who may be slowing down professionally this is especially true.
How to be an intriguing woman and draw dates who could become mates? Here are some simple tips for keeping your dating life a peak experience:
Weed the garden — don’t keep dating anyone who doesn’t help you feel good about yourself. If you are being reasonably charming and he isn’t and he is not mate material and can’t make you laugh, by all means, quit – now. There are better men ahead and deadwood just gets depressing.
Stop shopping for love in all the wrong places — anything you’ve been trying for more than three months (except for online dating) with no return, you’ve got to give up. Repeating the same old thing hoping for a new outcome is one definition of crazy.
Prince charming doesn’t make house calls. To have a dating life, you need a life. Self assign this homework: go out at least three nights a week either with someone dateable or where there is potential for expanding your social network.
Be a social marketer. Put the same initiative you would put into finding a job into romance. Be conscious of your self-presentation, know what you want, believe you deserve it, and be diligent in putting in the time. In love and work, apply Woody Allen’s advice — success is showing up.
Show off — if you have a good body, exercise in public places, go to the beach, the gym, and hit the slopes, If you have a keen intellect and are up to date on current affairs, join a trivia team, take a political affairs class, and volunteer for campaigns, if you have a lovely home, invite people over, offer it for events, and give a “share the wealth party” where the ticket for admission is your same sex friend or acquaintance bringing a date they like very much but are not romantically interested in.
Smile frequently. If you don’t know how, practice: start with furniture, cats and dogs, children, and then make your way up to full blown adults.
Make lingering eye contact with any man you might be interested in meeting. Then look away and gdalance back again with a quick smile. Remember the lingering part. Count to ten. Women will glance and think they’ve communicated interest when in fact their eye contact was so brief, he will be positive he’s just been rejected.
Date dress all the time (yes, even when you are running to the grocery) to help attract someone to date you.
Have your body speak the language of openness. Uncross your arms. If at a bar, face into the room not away from it. Open shoulders, uncrossed legs, with a full face glance is a welcome. Add a head tilt and it’s an invitation.
Fake it ’till you make it — do work on self-improvement and expanding your spirituality, education, and health level but don’t wait to be perfect. A great confidant attitude covers many a flaw
Want even MORE of Janet Blair’s fabulous tips? You’ll find them within the pages of her newest book: Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”