I might just hang around in my husband’s sweatshirt!
Let’s get one thing straight right from the start: I love summer. I love the heat (yes, even here in Florida), the longer days, the scent of jasmine when I walk Baby the bull terrier around the neighborhood in the evening, the feel of putting on my sunscreen every morning, and the taste of watermelon cold from the fridge. But somewhere around my 60s — maybe earlier, I realized that the true joy of summer isn’t found in overstuffed itineraries, exhausting bucket lists that I was holding on to since I was 20-something, or trying to keep up with some of my friends who seem to run from one thing to another like caffeinated squirrels.
Nope. This summer, I have a different plan — a non-plan, if you will. And it starts with a list of all the things I won’t be doing. Some of it’s funny. Some of it’s a little bit wise. All of it? A celebration of doing summer your way. Especially if you’re a woman my age.
So, grab your iced coffee (my drug of choice in summer), kick off those sandals, and settle in for my sunny manifesto: What I DON’T Plan to Do This Summer.
1. I Don’t Plan to Climb Any Mountains (Unless You Count Emotional Ones)
I admire the adventurous types. I do. But if you see me clinging to the side of a cliff or “summiting” anything higher than the front porch steps, send help. Better yet, send wine. Five years ago, I went hang gliding with my best friend off a sand dune in the Outer Banks, that was it…I’m done.
Now, if we’re talking emotional peaks? I might go there. I’m ready to just climb out of the habit of saying yes to things I really don’t want to do. That kind of climbing I can get behind. Dance class – YES, hiking to the peak of ANY mountain – NOPE, doing things I really don’t want to just because I think it’s “nice” to say it, absolutely NOPE.
2. I Don’t Plan to Wear a Swimsuit That Makes Me Cry
Can we please stop pretending that “swimsuit season” is something to dread? My pool, the beach, or even that cruise I’m going on this summer doesn’t care if I have a flat stomach. None of them minds my soft arms or the map of stretch marks on my thighs. And honestly, neither do I anymore.
This summer, I’m wearing the swimsuit that makes me feel good. Maybe it’s a vintage striped number (because you know I’m a stripe lover). Maybe it’s a sleek black one-piece with a little ruching magic. Maybe it’s a caftan that flutters in the breeze while I sip a spritz. Either way, I’ll be the one with a smile, not a breakdown, by the water.
3. I Don’t Plan to Pretend I Like Camping
I’m not saying I hate nature. I just prefer to observe it through a screened window with a ceiling fan humming gently above me and a glass of Pinot Grigio in hand.
Roughing it? That ship has sailed. And I plan to be on that ship, preferably a cruise with a restaurant by a celebrity chef and an onboard spa. As a matter of fact, I’m actually going to be on THAT cruise in June. I’ve earned my creature comforts, and I’m not apologizing. Call me high-maintenance, I call it wise choices based on lived experience.
That’s going to be my view
4. I Don’t Plan to Apologize for Resting
There was a time not so long ago when I believed rest had to be earned. That if I wasn’t “productive,” I was somehow wasting my time. Well, guess what? Time is the one thing I no longer feel like wasting on guilt.
This summer, if I want to spend a Tuesday afternoon napping with my dog (hi, BABY!), watching old movies, or reading a trashy summer novel while swinging in my hammock like it’s a competitive sport, I’m going to do it. And I’m going to enjoy every second.
No apologies. No shame. Just good old-fashioned rest — the kind that refuels your soul.
I’m going to sit and read on my back porch (which is going to be fixed TOMORROW).
5. I Don’t Plan to Chase the Fountain of Youth
I’ve seen enough women make themselves miserable to stay “young.” Let me say this once and for all: I’m not afraid of looking or being my age. Yes, I’ve had the bags removed from under my eyes (something I’ve wanted to do since I was in my 30s – HEREDITARY), but this summer, I’m just going to let the smile lines take their place and the laugh lines make more creases.
Because this summer, I’m chasing joy. And sometimes, that joy looks like skipping the gym to sit on the porch with a book. Sometimes it means just saying yes to laughter lines. Because honestly, those crow’s feet? They’ve earned their place. They’re laugh-marks. They’re life-marks.
And this summer, I want more of those.
6. I Don’t Plan to Be on Every Committee, Zoom Call, or Group Chat
Let’s normalize saying “no” to things that drain us. Let’s normalize not volunteering just because no one else raised their hand. Let’s normalize not being the glue that holds every situation together.
I spent decades being the dependable one. The wife who always gets things done. The friend who’ll stay up past her bedtime to help create a graphic for the gift guide that was supposed to be out yesterday, but we’re doing it at midnight instead. This summer, I want to be the one who mysteriously disappears for the afternoon and comes back with sand in her shoes and a mysterious glow (could be from margaritas, could be from the sunset — I’m not telling).
7. I Don’t Plan to Follow All the “Summer Rules”
You know the ones — wear bright colors, stay bikini-ready, get a tan, make Pinterest-worthy fruit salads, go to every barbecue, say yes to every social invitation, stay busy, stay buzzy, stay booked.
What if I don’t want to do all that?
What if my summer uniform is linen in soothing earth tones, and my idea of a cookout is ordering grilled salmon from that seafood place down the road?
This summer, I’m breaking the rules. Or better yet, rewriting them. Because summer, like life, should feel like something you get to enjoy, not just survive.
I might even eat those M&Ms in that jar behind me.
8. I Don’t Plan to Be Anything Other Than Myself
This is the big one. I spent too many summers trying to fit into other people’s ideas of who I should be: someone whose life looks cool, a woman who somehow had all the answers, and gets in the kitchen only 4 hours of sleep, and bakes that great coffee cake.
But this year? I’m leaning all the way into who I am. Maybe I’ll wear too many bangles. Maybe I’ll dance barefoot in the kitchen to Stevie Nicks. Maybe I’ll forget the coffee cake altogether and show up with a store-bought pie and a great story.
Because the best summers aren’t about being perfect. They’re about being present. And that, my friend, I do plan to be.
So What Will I Do This Summer?
You didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway:
I plan to breathe deeply. Laugh loudly. Walk slowly. Sleep in. Wear the big earrings. Love generously. Write more blog posts (from my new shady porch, thank you very much). Maybe even take a last-minute trip to Boston with my headset on and a playlist full of ’70s hits.
I plan to be gloriously, unapologetically me. Wrinkles, wisdom, and all.
So here’s to the summer of not-doing. Choosing joy over obligation. Of saying no to nonsense and yes to what matters.
And if you need me? I’ll be in my backyard, under a big floppy hat, doing absolutely nothing — and loving every minute of it.
Your Turn
What don’t you plan to do this summer? Let’s make the “not-to-do list” the new bucket list. Share yours with me. I might want to not do it, too.
