Dr. Oz’s 10 commandments

I’m obsessed…. that’s what happens when I (or maybe YOU) diet. It becomes consuming. Maybe it’s the HUNGER, maybe it’s the fact that I CAN’T HAVE SOMETHING that I really, really, want or maybe it’s just that I spend each  meal thinking about what I’m going to be able to eat next. Whatever it is, I’m focused on FOOD. Hopefully it’s a temporary thing, as I’m only one week in and haven’t really been doing it long enough to consider it a HABIT CHANGE (which I’ve heard takes 21 days – but, I’m guessing that’s just a random number someone put forth to make us keep going and by that time you’re so invested in whatever the change is that you feel an obligation to keep going).

I’m on this new EATING PROGRAM. It’s somewhere between Jackie Warner’s “This is Why You’re Fat” and a fairy-tale that I keep telling myself about what’s OK to eat. Anyway about it – I’m watching what I eat (and YES, it’s MUCH healthier than I was eating before). Whatever I’m doing, it’s better than the way I ate before. I’ve yet to add exercise (typical of me), other than a walk to the corner and back with Clem (the mini-bull-terrier). That will come next, as I start to see changes (as I lose weight I get more motivated to do other things – that’s my “usual” pattern).

Of course as I diet, I keep thinking to myself. Hmm….maybe there’s another program, diet, weight loss method that would work better. This turns into google searches, trips to the library and bookstore, going through boxes of books that have been stored in the garage forever, etc. Then Dr. Oz popped into my head (ok, I have a weird thought process – because I didn’t even FIND my Dr. Oz book in the process) and I found his 10 Commandments of Weight Loss. Mind you I have ENOUGH trouble with the REAL 10 Commandments (that covet thing gets tough sometimes).

Then I realized that Dr. Oz’s 10 Commandments, were a LOT easier and though I’m not really good at carving things in stone I figured that printing them up and putting them on the refrigerator door might be a good substitute (just don’t ask me to hike to the top of a mountain  like Moses did).

1. Thou Shalt Not Wear Pants that Stretch – Whew, okay that’s an easy one, I’m a bit of a fashionista and stretch pants are just NOT in my vocabulary (or wardrobe).

2. Thou Shalt Not Keep Fat Clothes in Your Closet – Also, not guilty of this. I have 2 closets (2 WALK-IN closets mind you). One is for the clothes that I’m currently wearing and the other is SKINNY CLOTHES. When I lose weight I toss the fat stuff (so gaining weight is always an expensive proposition for me).

3. Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat That Walks on Four Legs More Than Once a Week – While I do love a good Filet Mignon, this is not difficult either. I LOVE my chicken and fish and can easily substitute a spicy bean burger for a hamburger. Once a week is acceptable (plus it’s good on the wallet).

4. Thou Shalt Not Graze – OK, we just hit the first TOUGH ONE. Given the option I could eat continuously throughout the day,. I’ve taken to doing that 5 meal a day thing (or 3 meals and 2 snacks). This works until about 8:00 PM when I finally sit down and start thinking about having something “good.”

5. Thou Shalt Not Eat After 7:30pm – See above. I’d like to have Dr. Oz over as a guest ANY evening as my personality changes from FUN Zippy to I’ve got to have something or I’m going to bite your head off Zippy. He may modify that commandment….just sayin…  Dr. Oz goes on to say that after 7:30 is when we typically don’t pay attention to what we eat  (usually in front of the TV, so we eat high calorie foods). Rather than NOT eat at this time, I have a piece of PROTEIN to satisfy myself (a hard boiled egg or something like that) or if I need a sweet, I’ll cut up and apple and add some peanut butter (protein again).

6. Thou Shalt Not Pile Food More than 1 Inch High or Within 2 Inches of the Plate Edge – Not a problem again (that’s what “seconds” are for). Actually, having lived in Europe, I’m used to eating meals that are much smaller than the “typical American” meal. (see commandment #4 – it’s an all day affair for me, not a size issue).

7. Thou Shalt Not Chew Food Less than 20 Times Per Bite – WAIT, is this MATH CLASS? I have to count how many times I chew? I’m thinking that someone with OCD might have a huge problem with this…in a VERY real way. I’m NOT counting…sorry Dr. Oz. I’ve got too many other things to think about than how many times I chew that piece of chicken.. Oh, and by the way, what am I supposed to do with my oatmeal? GAH!

8. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Plate – Ah….FOOD ENVY. Thankfully I have friends who are appalled at the proposition of my sticking my fork onto their plate. That doesn’t take away my food envy, but friendship is more important.

9. Thou Shalt Not Carry Small Bills – This is so that you won’t use a vending machine to buy snacks. Not a problem again. Last time I checked the “mansion” doesn’t have any vending machines. Although I might make a few bucks if I put one onto the fridge. Can that be done?


10. Thou Shalt Not Eat While Standing Up -Wow, this last one is so easy that I can’t stand it. There’s no way in HELL that I’m eating “on the fly.” I enjoy the entire experience WAY TOO MUCH.

All in all, probably pretty doable. As I see it I’m only breaking the commandments about 30% of the time. I can work with that percentage and probably whittle it down a little more (along with my waistline).

All of this talk of dieting has made me hungry.  I’m off to have my morning bowl of oatmeal and a piece of fruit.